Islam Question and Answer - He did a marriage contract with her and she changed – should he divorce her?

He did a marriage contract with her and she changed – should he divorce her?

I married a relative of mine six months ago. I work in another country; thus we had our engagement and even marriage contract done while I am abroad. Since we married my wife became very different. She keeps saying that she is not happy with me, and that she does not expect any happiness with me in the future. That is why she is asking for divorce. Shall I divorce her? She became very stubborn with me in essential matters such as the full shar’ee Hejab, and working in mixed places, while I do love to adhere to my religion.

 

Praise be to Allaah.

The basic principle concerning divorce is that it is makrooh,
because it results in severing of in-law ties and the breaking up of the
family, and hardship for the children. 

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him)
said: 

The basic principle concerning divorce is that it is not
allowed, rather it is only permitted as much as is necessary. 

Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (33/81). 

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

The basic principle concerning divorce is that it is makrooh,
and the evidence for that is the verse about those who “take an oath
(eela’) not to have sexual relation with their wives” [al-Baqarah
2:226], i.e., they swear not to have intercourse with them for four months.
“then if they return (change their idea in this period), verily, Allaah
is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. And if they decide upon divorce, then
Allaah is All-Hearer, All-Knower”. This implies a kind of threat, but if
they return, i.e., go back to their wives, He says: “verily, Allaah is
Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” This indicates that divorce is not liked
by Allaah, and that the basic principle concerning it is that it is makrooh,
and that is indeed the case. 

Al-Sharh al-Mumti’ (10/428) 

But because people’s nature, character and religious
commitment vary from one person to another, it is essential that divorce be
included in the laws prescribed by Allaah. A woman may be harmed by staying
with her husband if he is lacking in religious commitment or he has a bad
attitude or harsh nature, and a man may be harmed by staying with his wife
if she is not fit to raise his children or she does not give him his rights
on a reasonable basis. Hence prescribing divorce is wise and is suited to
human nature. 

Both spouses may be better off after divorce, as Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning): “But
if they separate (by divorce), Allaah will provide abundance for everyone of
them from His Bounty. And Allaah is Ever All‑Sufficient for His creatures’
needs, All‑Wise” al-Nisa’ 4:130]. Hence divorce is not the end of
the world, and divorce may be the best way for a couple who are incompatible
in their natures, behaviours, attitude and actions.  

Based on this, what we advise you to do is to bring in wise
people from your family and hers to intervene and convince her of the
necessity of mending her ways and changing the way she deals with you, and
to promise to follow the straight path in your married life without any
deviation, and tell her that this is the only way you can continue the
marriage with her. If she responds and accepts this, then praise be to
Allaah, and perhaps Allaah will bring you together.  

We advise you to wait for a while before completing the
marriage, so that you can see how keen she is to settle down to living with
you, and how able she in fact is to do that, because what you have told us
about her makes us doubt strongly that she is keen to agree to that or is
able to do it. 

If she does not agree, then what we think is that you should
divorce her; divorcing her now is better for you and for her than divorcing
her after consummating the marriage or having children. 

If you do that and divorce takes place, there is no sin on
you, because divorce in this case is obligatory or mustahabb, especially if
she insists on working in a mixed environment, which is something that is
haraam and you should not compromise about it, rather you should make her
give it up. If she insists, then this is sufficient reason to divorce her,
so how about if the other things about her are added to that?! 

And Allaah knows
best.

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